Modesty is such bullshit. It’s not that I think everyone should constantly brag about everything, but when you are good at something, there is no reason to hide it. You are just being selfish. And lying. So a modest person is a selfish liar. I’ve complained before about how much I resent people who fish for compliments, and there’s the obvious connection between people who masquerade in modesty while truly seeking constant approval of others, but I want to talk about a deeper problem we have with claiming that modesty is a virtue we should aspire to.
The only way to truly not show off the things that we are good at is to not do them. If we don’t do them, then we are instead opting to do things that we are bad at. If we all do things that we are bad at, then our society will not flourish and instead flounder. You can ask why we aren’t allowed to have a modicum of modesty – why we can’t be moderately modest and not take everything to the extreme. You can ask that, and I will not answer because that is a stupid question. Nobody compliments someone on how mediumly modest they are, nobody ever says that someone is the perfect level of modesty. People hold their friends on a high pedestal because the modesty of others affords them the opportunity to brag – when someone else is silent, they are talking – and that makes them feel better about themselves because they are so insecure without being given that time to vocalize how great they are. Stop holding them on pedestals! Braggarts and confidence-buckets are just as obnoxious, but we need to recognize that both are necessary in moderation.
I’m really asking that people be self-aware. I’m not suggesting confidence because that’s disgusting. Confidence is the act of assuming that you can do something well even though you have no idea how well you will do it. That also represents a lack of self-awareness. I’m suggesting that if you know you are good at something than you can do that thing and talk about how good you are at it. If you are bad at something you should also talk about it and not do it. Instead we are stuck with modest people and confident people. Confident people doing a bunch of shit they suck at and fucking up our worlds and modest people not doing their part to help society.