Attention Whoring

Self Obsession (Pt. 5)


Grade: A

This sketch was awkwardly blocked and vastly under-rehearsed. So, why does it get my first “A?” Because it is so beautifully written, paced and conceived. The basic premise of extending the 80s power lifestyle to its extreme in order to fit it into a 5 minute sketch full with intermission is supremely original in the very unoriginal world of sketch comedy. What makes this sketch so hilarious in addition to its originality were the absurd elements thrown in that were all extensions of the “Fast Track” in convoluted ways. My penchant for ass-slapping, Joe’s ministry of silly entrances and exits, James’ too short pants, Ben’s wig, Hannah’s face full of cocaine, and the clip on ties tied this together to really drag the audience down a ride of absurdity in a way that was not only palatable, but desirable. I think what best sums up the brilliance of this sketch were the lines (of dialogue, not coke [lol]) so I will forgo my typical “best line” award for a top baker’s dozen lines in the sketch. (Mostly said by James).

Another week of rehearsal and this gets an A+.

Best Lines:

1. “You know Donna? The one with the ass like a pontoon bridge.”

2. “Jackson and his band of Lazer Powered Cock Monkeys were all over me with questions”

3. “Nice hair, got a nice slick to it, goes really well with your shoes.”

4. “Boy are the tits on my face.”

5. “You’ve got upper management written all over you. Just after you suck my penis, just kidding that would be highly inappropriate.”

6. “Were you talking about my ass?”

7. “I was shitting balls in there.”

8. “Don’t swim with the sharks if you don’t want to get burnt.”

9. “I better get you a new plaque, big guy.”

10. “Do you take this man? Do you take this woman? AWESOME!”

11. “Nice view, got a Ficus plant and everything.”

12.”And it was all candycake from there.”

13. “Corporate’s been breathing down my asshole all week.

Best Actor: Me. That character was too perfect.