Instructions are Boring

We all have broken up with a person because we wanted to be single. Usually people do this because they feel as though they will have more fun finding random ass, or at least new ass. I’m always the guy who wants to be single when he’s in a relationship, but it is not because I’m excited about the other ass possibilities. I constantly desire to be single so that I have more opportunities to get rejected.

Have you ever talked to someone who tells you a story about how they got mad pussy-laid? Of course you have. Have you ever wanted to talk to that person again? Of course not. Stories are only good when the person who is telling it has a shitty life. I strive to have a shitty life because at least then I’ll be able to talk about it. I much prefer being unhappy as long as I still get to satisfy my narcissistic desires to talk about myself.

So, I’m a connoisseur of getting shot down – usually by shooting  myself down. This does not mean I go to clubs and talk to girls hoping that they will reject me – that takes no skill and provides no story. My stories involve hand-written scripts, peeing in bushes, wearing shoes to bed, and impotence. That’s how a story is made, not by asking if I girl wants to bone to have her respond negatively. The only reason my stories are interesting, and they fucking are, is because my motivation is so foreign to most. Most people would not see rejection as a success, so most people are interested in videos like this:

I am also interested in videos like this. This video is incredible. I would very much like to know how many people would be turned on by someone who sees body parts as edible. Hannibal Lecter was such a ladies man.

I argue against capitalism too often, but is there a better argument against it than realizing that being entrenched in a culture of consumerism causes relationships to be reduced to sales pitches? Yes there is. Capitalism causes people to say things like: “Women need to fill their funnel with lots of guys” (4:07) without realizing the hilarious innuendo they’ve just used on local news.

This is dangerous though. When women are given advice like in order to sell yourself you can’t sell your body it puts an importance on the female body that only serves to further ingrain the idea that sexual agency as the only agency a woman can take. She says hold back your bullets so that they still want you as if the only reason he’ll come back is if he still has pussy to conquer. Because of the patriarchal society we live in, a lot of men do feel like sex is an act of conquership – just notches in the bedpost, but not fighting against that concept is the same as agreeing with it. Blondie might be right in that her steps may get you married, but that is a short term solution that only forces women for generations to come to have to follow those same steps.

Defying norms isn’t simply about standing up for what you believe in, but also about creating a comfortable environment for others who don’t conform to their supposed norm to stand up for what they believe. I love eating and therefore find it attractive when a woman can cook. I would never ask other men to find that attractive.

I got bored writing this because I figured out where I was going and attempted to wrap things up. Let’s pretend this is some meta hilarity about how I hate following directions so much that I refuse to make my writing coherent.


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