Attention Whoring

Self Obsession (Pt. 5)


Grade: A

This sketch was awkwardly blocked and vastly under-rehearsed. So, why does it get my first “A?” Because it is so beautifully written, paced and conceived. The basic premise of extending the 80s power lifestyle to its extreme in order to fit it into a 5 minute sketch full with intermission is supremely original in the very unoriginal world of sketch comedy. What makes this sketch so hilarious in addition to its originality were the absurd elements thrown in that were all extensions of the “Fast Track” in convoluted ways. My penchant for ass-slapping, Joe’s ministry of silly entrances and exits, James’ too short pants, Ben’s wig, Hannah’s face full of cocaine, and the clip on ties tied this together to really drag the audience down a ride of absurdity in a way that was not only palatable, but desirable. I think what best sums up the brilliance of this sketch were the lines (of dialogue, not coke [lol]) so I will forgo my typical “best line” award for a top baker’s dozen lines in the sketch. (Mostly said by James).

Another week of rehearsal and this gets an A+.

Best Lines:

1. “You know Donna? The one with the ass like a pontoon bridge.”

2. “Jackson and his band of Lazer Powered Cock Monkeys were all over me with questions”

3. “Nice hair, got a nice slick to it, goes really well with your shoes.”

4. “Boy are the tits on my face.”

5. “You’ve got upper management written all over you. Just after you suck my penis, just kidding that would be highly inappropriate.”

6. “Were you talking about my ass?”

7. “I was shitting balls in there.”

8. “Don’t swim with the sharks if you don’t want to get burnt.”

9. “I better get you a new plaque, big guy.”

10. “Do you take this man? Do you take this woman? AWESOME!”

11. “Nice view, got a Ficus plant and everything.”

12.”And it was all candycake from there.”

13. “Corporate’s been breathing down my asshole all week.

Best Actor: Me. That character was too perfect.


4 thoughts on “Self Obsession (Pt. 5)

  1. Ben says:

    Grade: A
    Watchability: 5-10 times

    I sort of want to give this sketch a B- because I’m a curmudgeon and because watching tiny mistakes in a perfectly written sketch is the most infuriating thing of all. This sketch is so funny, primarily for the reasons Nisse stated: the lines and rapid delivery. One thing Bad Comedy needs to learn is that writing stage directions while imagining their pacing as if they were dialogue NEVER works. Thus, it was hilarious when the hyper-speed delivery of lines leading up to “…lunch. Waiter!” were followed by the stage directions “waiter enters with lunch. It is cocaine.” But the joke is partially (and in this case only partially) lost when it is performed. A worse example is when my Chico Marx character swindles his own son into a haircut at a rapid clip, and then “drop-kicks a melon,” we are presented with an absurdist punch line which would be funny in writing, in a cartoon, or even a professionally edited Marx brothers clip, but not on stage.

    Huh. I think I forgot to review the Marx brothers one. That one was funny too. I give it a B+.

  2. Ben says:

    well, I guess I already reviewed it. I thought I had read your review of it and failed to post, but I must have just dreamed it. Anyway, there you go.

  3. h2money says:

    I forgot about the line: “Let’s get the office chaplain in here.” Also brilliant. Put that one at #6.

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