I live with two men who have not had the issues with self-gender that I have had. When they were 10 they were not referred to as a girl by new camp counselors who were confused by the long hair and foreign name. When they won best Halloween costume in the local newspaper they were not referred to as the “kid who dressed as Frankenstina.” They did not have every telemarketer assume they were the woman of the house.
I came home the other day with the knowledge that I was going to put my roommate in an awkward inbetween of desires. I told him that I had just discovered an all you can drink brunch place that offered a $10 all you can drink, from 11-4 …. mimosa. After his initial excitement was only mildly dampened by the inclusion of fruit and bubbles into what he thought would be manly and testicle-full, I then explained it was at a Vegan restaurant. “DAMMIT!” He screamed as though he had just spilled a hot blueberry cobbler on his shirt just before his job interview.
My wake up time was spent watching Glee, a show I desperately hate that I hate that I love. Glee is just a copy cat show that I think I enjoy because of how infuriatingly cookie cutter it is. And yet it rings of originality. It is a show that dares to copy so many terrible cliches that it becomes daring. Glee steals more than the hamburgler in a grade F slaughterhouse. From the whiny-teenage -confused-puppy-indignantly-lost-in-a-McDonalds-ballpit-looks stolen from HSM. To the forced transitions to song stolen from that outdated 1776 musical we watched in 5th grade public schools that tried to make history fun. To the constantly rotating love geometric shapes stolen from every teen movie that stole from Shakespeare. Everytime I watch it, I turn down the volume when the songs come on. I’m not sure if it has to do with that I don’t want to explain my non-ironic/ironic love of teenage lovescapades in song form, or if it has to do with that I don’t want them to think I am singing along to the cheesier version of songs we already hate, or if I just don’t want them to know I exist, but I don’t like it. I don’t like being embarrassed about my desires simply because they don’t conform to the gender norm, so I am going to blast Glee! Actually I’m not because hearing Finn’s annoying voice whining that loudly makes my testicles pop.