I performed twice the other day.

In one performance I was telling a story in a hospital waiting room about my love of Mr. Rogers. In the other I was arguing vehemently while waving my penis around. Both performances went well which brings me to my point: Anything can be enjoyable.

There are so many ways to say what you need to say that are still good. There is no formula to greatness. This annoys me because I like formulas. So I refuse to admit this and instead will find a formula. Have fun.

This makes me sound really annoying. I’m not sure I don’t like that.

I’m annoying.

I’ve been annoying most of my life, and it’s treated me well. I wasn’t annoying when I was a kid because I was too shy to talk much, but I always liked the kids that were “annoying.” I started thinking of it as a compliment because being annoying meant that that person was interesting and willing to say things that wouldn’t be meant with blanket approval.

I, surprisingly, did not have ADD or ADHD or any other acronym that said something was wrong with me. I say “surprisingly” because everyone assumes I did or do have it. I sort of have adult ADD, but I think it’s a choice. I think I chose to have ADD. It’s more fun. It’s more annoying. Being annoying means that you are pushing people into new realms of emotion. You are frustrating people, and if there’s one thing I like more than being annoying, it’s being frustrated. So, I consider being annoying a form of charity – I am getting people to experience emotions that they wouldn’t experience otherwise. And experiencing as many emotions as possible in as short a time span as possible is the purpose of life.