I took a poop in my toilet for the first time in over a week. I’ve taken many poops in the past week (how do you think I stay so skinny?), but I’ve been relegated to restaurants and other public facilities. It was relaxing. My bathroom is still disgusting, but at least I can poop in it.
Being in public spaces to poop is the worst. I don’t trust any locks on bathroom doors, and will always search for the bathroom where I can stretch out my feet to keep the door closed while I poop. I really hate getting walked in on. It’s not because I’m embarrassed of how my body looks when I’m pooping – I’m embarrassed of the way my body looks all the time, pooping is not more vulnerable. It’s because I hate how no one wants to talk about the fact that they walked in on me. If I get back to table of people and one of those people saw me pooping recently, that’s what I want to talk about. Let’s not hide the fact that you saw me with my face scrunched up and my anus open. Let’s be open about it. It’s a funny conversation.
Really I just want to talk about myself, and I don’t care in what realm, but when someone walks in on my pooping, they no longer want to talk about me, and that makes me sad.