Attention Whoring, Lazy


A typical day for me is atypical for others.

Not that I’m more interesting, just that I don’t like to follow paths. Mostly because I forget to wear shoes a lot because I grew up in rural Maine and the not-path is usually covered in grass and grass feels good on my feet.

I walked 9 miles yesterday because I didn’t plan my routes well and got lost on the subway and am generally a terribly incapable human. Others go to the gym for exercise – I wear the wrong clothes and get lost, sweaty, and angry. Others have jobs where they get regular paychecks and it’s not complicated for them to rent a new apartment – I have three weirdly paying jobs that make it annoyingly complicated to get an apartment and they make me feel bad about myself for my inability to conform to society.

This blog entry is going to turn abruptly. My roommate has also found a new place to live. I found this out because I went outside to get my organic pineapple juice from the fridge to see him furiously packing his massive bar of liquor into boxes, smoking cigars and eating my food with his brother. (I purposely buy gross food so he won’t eat it, but I guess Ikea hardbread isn’t gross enough). I then asked why there was pieces of cups all over the kitchen floor. He responded: “We’re smashing shit.”

I understand that he hasn’t loved the way the landlord has treated our apartment, but throwing cups on the ground – which I am now sure is what he is doing because I saw him do it in a fit of … happirage?

He’s more atypical to me.

I’m more atypical to him.

He doesn’t understand why I wear over-sized clothes and accentuate how bad I am at getting to have sex, and I don’t understand why his shirt is always tucked in and he yells about fucking broads to himself while in the shower.

I guess people are unique is the moral. There’s no moral. I know it’s sold out, but the Moth GrandSLAM is tomorrow and I’m in it and I’ll probably hear a lot of morals. I don’t understand what the moral of the story I’m going to tell is yet – I think it’s going to be that I’m a moron, but that’s the moral of all of my stories so I’ll try to think of something new by tomorrow.


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