At the improv club I work at they end their show by asking a member of the audience up on stage to recount their day. They then improvise what that person’s dream might be like based on the theory that people’s dreams are based on what their days are based on. This sketch always makes me think about how I would retell the events of my day. Sure my blog is supposed to be, and at some point was, an account of my dull day, but I’ve strayed away from that in favor of rants against society as a whole.

Here’s what my day would be like typically.

I woke up around noon only to realize that none of the food in my parents’ fridge looked appealing. Instead I spend the next three hours on my computer saying that I’m looking for a job while I instead get distracted by NBA Live 2008. By that point I am too hungry to function so I eat the ingredients of a sandwich without putting the effort into placing them together in sandwich form. This is usually Tofurky, mustard, and bread. I then tell myself that I’m gonna go outside and enjoy the day. I then play another hour of NBA Live. That gets me in the mood to play basketball for real, which I do for 15 minutes before deciding that that was too much work, so I opt instead to analyze my blog stats and attempt to find correlations that will allow me to increase my viewership, only to come to very obvious conclusions like: “when I post a new entry I get more viewers.” I watch fox news on youtube for a while and then realize that I have to go to work. That’s when I put on pants (that’s right, I played basketball in briefs) and take a shower, and run to work. After work I go to sleep.

That would be a boring day to try to recreate on stage. I don’t think it could last the 7-10 minutes it needs to last.

My mom got mad at me the other day because I was arguing for socialism because I thought it was okay that people don’t work. I said that we should just make sure everybody has living expenses without working and then working just adds perks. She disagreed. I think it’s because I’m her only example of a person who comes close to not working, and my day is unproductive. I argue socialism not for me, but rather for others who I think would do more with that free time. Also they should outlaw dynasty modes on any sports video game because it is too distracting.