Three Years

I found these videos. They are mashup songs/music videos of the top 25 songs of the year. I will analyze what the top 25 songs say about that year.


Ok, so I get that the country’s financial situation is less than awesome, but do we have to say “down” so much? And I guess we also have to party enough to forget about the fact that our lives are in the shitter, which is a vicious cycle of spending in excess in order to party in order to forget about the fact that we spent in too much excess. We also are really into wearing sunglasses. Probably so no one can watch us cry about the fact that we are killing ourselves with our wasteful capitalist addiction to booze, dancing and titties.

“How about the dancing?” you ask your computer as if it is where I live and by speaking aloud at a monitor you are able to communicate with me. Bouncing your hands up and down is really in. It doesn’t matter if it’s in fist form or open palm or in some sort of metal glove as you march like an epileptic camel with your two back up dancers in black and white, you need your hands to bounce like your checks.

People of the year (people who were featured the most in this video): Beyonce, Lady Gaga, TI, Kanye, Fergie, Taylor Swift


This was the year of the slow fuck – confusing mix of impassioned lustful sexuality and the romantic ideal of true love. We’ve given the slow fuck these supposedly diametrically opposed meanings, when in fact the slow fuck is just that: Fucking slowly. Sometimes it’s nice to slow down insertion so you can feel every moment. That got graphic and sweet simultaneously. Which is good because that represents what this video is about. This video, and in turn this year, was about mixing opposites. And you know what happens when you mix opposites? People get confused and angry and bad things happen.

People of the Year: Chris Brown and Rihanna

Maybe that’s why the dance of the year was closing your eyes – because we didn’t want to look at how horrible of people we were.


This was the year of screaming incoherent sounds as though they are onomatopoeias when in fact they have no meaning. Staring directly at the camera was the dance because we wanted people to think we meant something when in fact we were meaningless.

Person of the Year: Akon


2 thoughts on “Three Years

  1. fakeplastic says:

    “You need your hands to bounce like your checks.”

    I miss you, Nisse! I am so envious of your current and future New York comedy troupes!

    • h2money says:

      thanks. There is nothing witty to say in response to earnest support and praise. This frustrates me.

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