Since you all are very interested, I’m going to tell you what my opinions are on the big news stories of the past week.

1. Brown’s Republican Victory in MA.

It’s depressing to me that Coakley lost because she ran the campaign I always thought should be run. She didn’t want to shake hands or talk about the red sox and she was beat by a guy who posed naked in cosmo. That may seem like a cheap shot, but imagine if the genders were reversed. Some girl poses naked and wins an election? Some guy is hated because he acted annoyed with the frivolities of shaking hands? And this after all the claims of sexism throughout Hillary and Palin’s campaigns. Where were those people now?

2. Late Night Debacles.

This is why capitalism is so stupid. We’re concerned with the shittiest hour of television not because those shows are any good, but because they have to remain decent enough that people don’t switch the channel before they go to sleep and therefore wake up to that network’s morning show. If our television channels were all run by the government than we wouldn’t have this stupid competition where we are trying to line up television show so that we trick 50 year olds into accidentally watching the same channel for four hours. Plus Jay Leno is very unfunny.

3. Haiti

This is very hard to be funny about. I Hate-i it!