Here’s what I have to do today:
1. Get my laundry out of the dryer.
2. Clean my room. And I mean clean it. I’m gonna scrub the fucker down and get whatever that smell is out of here since I can’t just air it out because of my lack of window.
3. Eat, shower, brush teeth, be human.
4. Call a prospective client.
5. Go watch Up in the Air and have sex.
Here’s what I have done today:
1. Watched Lost.
2. Watched Movie Previews on apple trailers.
(Note: The links are important to the narrative of this entry)
I just can’t get myself out of bed because all these things that I supposedly need to do are strenuous and I don’t know which one to do first. I just want to call my parents and tell them to clean my room to make up for the fact that I wouldn’t let them clean it when I was a teenager. If they clean than I can eat and do the other chores I don’t mind doing. But if I do those than I’ll only have cleaning left and nothing to look forward to. I can’t wait until I’m a famous person and I don’t have to deal with turning to my family in times of need. Maybe I can make this blog into a movie – except no one would watch a simple one trick pony turned into a feature length film.
I fear the fact that I probably won’t leave behind a legacy that affects millions. So no matter what happens I will write a memoir that I will publish near the end of my life. Maybe after death I can become famous. At least I can comfort myself with that thought on my deathbed. It’ll be a story of how our world is full of pretentious fucks who claim a deeper understanding of things instead of the truth, which is that they hate poor people. It’ll be about how people judge each other based on the easiest qualifiers instead of taking the time to understand how to judge people quickly based on deeper qualifiers. My search for fame is simply a desire to be seen by all, a desire to be the ultimate socialist commodity – something that everyone gets an opportunity to view and explore, and yet I am judged to be simply another whiny, effeminate, skinny Jew who is following the path of every other person that looks like him and trying to turn his ability to point out his own flaws into a humorous rise to fame.
There have been so many people in existence that for your path to not follow someone else’s to some extent is impossible. The key is not to try. The key is not to fall into every single cliche of your time period. That is the key to timelessness. If one does the things they love, then one is bound to followed by people that love that same thing because, as I said before, statistically someone else loves that too.
Which, again, is why I don’t believe in one true love. You probably love someone else more, and someone else probably loves that person more than you. So we should give up the competition for love that is jealousy and all be scared of commitment. Commitment is only good in that it leads to little kids that can carry on your legacy. But what if you fuck up and your kid is weird and won’t be an exact clone of you?
My point is that we all want to be remembered forever, and that to be cliche and to follow others is to doom yourself to an existence that goes forgotten (and is extremely boringly sexist). Striving for the undying attention of others isn’t selfish, but rather human nature, and once we embrace that desire for fame after death we can live contentedly as opposed to chasing an unknown entity.
Now I have to go watch a movie so that I get ideas of what to do with my life that doesn’t involve cleaning my room.