Attention Whoring, Death, Horny, My favorites


I was IMDBing my birthday to see how many people exactly my age were much more famous than me to find that there is a porn star born on my birthday. I realize that I jerk off to people my own age (and sometimes younger) in my imagination and on my computer screen, but being confronted with that kind of tangible evidence that I am as old as a woman that was being “Face Fucked” for some old dude on his couch’s pleasure two years ago makes me really contemplate my mortality.

Sex is an equalizer. It makes us seem feel as though we share something beyond the shallow social indicators that led us to decide that sex was the appropriate next step. Shallow indicators like similar personality traits, or similar likes and dislikes. Sex is deep. Sex makes us share genitals. Genitals are deep. While the previous set of sentences are all very funny if pulled out and looked at individually, they mean to illustrate that fucking is the great way of saying we are at the same point in our life. We are at the point in life where we need to be connected physically to demonstrate how metaphorically attached we are. Yes, I do think of sex as simply a literal interpretation of a metaphor.

The point is that we are at the same point in life as anybody we fuck (if only for that second). I think this is why I’ve always been awkward about age differences. If I were to fuck an older person it means I’m closer to death, and if I were to fuck a younger person it means I’m the idiot I was 4 years ago.

Obviously I’m at the same point technically in life as Roma (VIII) (aka Jackie Avalon). We probably both learned to walk around the same time, were potty trained near the same time, and I probably learned to read earlier because I was a genius child who read at 3 years old and she’s a porn star. She also probably got laid earlier than me. But we experienced a lot of things at the same time. Cell phones were introduced to our worlds at the same point in our lives, as were laptop computers, as was the movie Space Jam. So when some 45 year old burnt out comic book store employee yanks on his penis while watching her in “Jerk it Bitch” he is attempting to imagine himself at her point in life which is also my point in life. He is equalizing our points in life. He is making me 45 and I’m still not famous. Even worse, when she participated in FILFs with Ron Jeremy she put me at the same point in life as people that are my parents age. I don’t want to be my parents age with the life I have. They got to at least watch me grow up which is a joy that I still haven’t gotten to have.

I guess I’ll have to get around to fucking so that I can have children before I die. Either that or get famous so I can stop being jealous of the attention others’ get.


One thought on “Age

  1. So your argument against dating outside a person’s age range is cellphones and potty training? I can see where you’re coming from as far as overall life experience but you can’t expect a 28 year-old to steer clear of a 36 year-old just because one had an iPod before the other. I like your idea that sex is an expression of a metaphor of connectedness. My feeling is that sex is an expression of a relationship with a person and doesn’t have to be based on a similar background. If skin color is frowned upon as a reason to avoid looking into someone’s soul and loving them for the person they are instead of something arbitrary and superficial, then shouldn’t it be the same for age?

    Also, a 4 year age difference isn’t exactly extreme and certainly doesn’t mean you are closer to death. You very well may die years before someone older than you since age isn’t the only factor in the loss of life.

    You went from being very poignant and deep to quite shallow and confusing. On the other hand it’s refreshing to hear that not everyone is just trying to get it from wherever they can.

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