Gender, Horny

The Situation ain’t that Bad

When I was 16 and with my first girlfriend we were sitting on the couch one day watching some form of entertainment (probably an Avril Lavigne music video because I was into that at the time) and she turned to me and said: “You really like my love handles, don’t you?” I realized that I was absent mindedly playing with the flabby bumps of skin above her hips. “Yeah, I guess, sure.” I responded amidst a series of “ums” and other uncomfortable noises I made when teenage H2$ was caught doing something that wasn’t socially appropriate.

After the many more girlfriends I’ve had (I say many because I want people to think I’m a cool person), I’ve recognized that I tend to focus on these supposedly unattractive features a little too much. Whether it was love handles, arm flab, bacne, unshaven parts, overextended ribcage, cellulite, or a weird forehead, I spend most of my time on these seemingly gross features – fiddling with them with my fingers, stroking them, enjoying them. It’s not that I’m focusing on them because I wish they would change, and I’m hoping by my persistence in attacking them they will adjust accordingly to a better version. It’s because I like them. They make the person truly human. These are my favorite body parts. These are the parts that put us on a similar level.

There is nothing wrong with these body parts. They are not worse to touch then other body parts. I tend to think a chubbier arm is much more fun to hold then one made of bone and anorexia, but we are told from a young age that they are unlikable. I like the unlikable. I want to prove society wrong and show it that you can like the lumpy girl with the body full of pimples hair and confusingly placed body parts. This isn’t to say I like ugly girls, just that we don’t understand what’s ugly. And neither do I to be honest. Mostly because it’s been hard to find people I find truly repulsive. Smooth beautiful skin is nice – I like touching it (with all parts of my body), but acne’s got it’s perks too. I like a skinny waist every once in a while, but lumps of fat can be fun to bounce around on too.

My point is that I can make the best out of any situation and that’s not because I’m not picky, it’s because situations are only bad because you were told they were.

Gotchya! You thought this was going to be about Jersey Shore! Well, fuck you.


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