I started this blog with goals that I have described in detail many times before. Summarized quickly I wanted to be a despicable but relatable character that would force the reader to change the parts of themselves that were too hypocritical or sexist. An old family friend has a blog that does a much better job of that on accident. He’s a great guy who will be referred to as Ice Cube in a fittingly confusing nickname. I also couldn’t disagree with his sexist dribble more, but he comes from an environment where what he says isn’t sexist – instead it is seemingly progressive.
This is a confusing argument to make – that the humans one is surrounded by offer a different set of expectations for the one in question, but I think it’s a valid one. I’m not saying that we should hold back our arguments with them, but rather that we should understand that they are human.
I went to a college of progressives who went to private schools. In other words, the elite that the “real america” hates. I think there is a reason that “real america” hates us. It’s because we don’t listen. I’m not saying that we should listen in the way the democrats are listening to the republicans and condescend to pretend that they have some decent ideas on health care – I’m saying that we listen. Because when you actually listen, you actually hear.
I did a show recently where our opening act was a racist comic explaining how he feels like black people get all the ladies that he wants to objectify because everybody lets black people get away with anything. This was far from how he phrased it, but this was how I perceived it, and how one of our audience members who happened to attend my school perceived it. I was about to perform – couldn’t be bothered by worrying about another comic’s total failure on stage. She was was watching and decided to scream “Shut Up!” He did and then announced us. Sure, that sucked in terms of how hard it was to perform, but what made me madder was the fact that once again people that I agree with are not explaining themselves to the other side.
She had a reasonable point. She was right. Does he understand that now though? Absolutely not. He just thinks that people play the race card when they want to get around dealing with shit because he doesn’t understand what’s wrong with what he was thinking. He now only has more bitterness toward black people because they cut him off and tell him that he’s racist when he has no conception of what he did wrong – all he was doing was copying the billion of other comics that had made the same joke and gotten laughs – all he is doing is using the material he uses when he needs to get his drinking buddies to think that he’s the funny guy – all he is doing is being a member of his society, and he’ll continue to be a member of only his society if we keep shunning him away from ours. I’m not saying that we embrace his views, but rather embrace him and challenge his views. Simply and disgustingly put: Hate the sin, not the sinner.
When you engage in conversation with these logical deficients you find that they are simply spouting the propaganda that they’ve been fed all of their life. They don’t understand that women have as active, if not more active biological sex drives as men. They don’t understand that not all Black people are Miles Davis meets Dave Chappelle. They don’t understand that demanding that women lose their independence is going to cause a much less productive world because there are men who are better at cooking and cleaning and women who are better at running a company. They don’t understand that because that is not what they are told. I, and my fellow collegites all were taught these truths at a young age and were ingrained with these truths over and over again by paying 45 grand a year to surround ourselves with similarly minded people.
I was on the bus and two destitute teens transitioned from talking about how they couldn’t feed their child on their paycheck to how they just found out that their friend was bisexual and they were going to take her number out of their phone because of it.
I could have angrily screamed that gays have rights too and walked off the bus in a huff. Are they wrong for being mad at their friend because she identifies as queer? Absolutely. Will they learn the err of their ways by me shouting and avoiding interaction? Absolutely not. Am I too lazy and selfish to engage them in a conversation? Absolutely.
The same thing goes for this stand up with the racist comments or my friend who believes women can’t masturbate. Do I disagree with them wholeheartedly and think that the things that they propagate are actively harmful to society? Absolutely. Ignoring them, attempting one sided conversations where you “teach them,” or talking shit about them behind their back like I’m doing changes nothing for the better though. In fact, all it does is make them martyrs in their mind. If you aren’t there to tell them which parts of their logic prove faulty then they will find some way to rationalize their thought process, and that means that they will continue thinking that way.
I hate harder than anyone I know. Hate is one of my favorite things to feel. But hate should be for reserved for beliefs because people can change and only through listening do you allow them to think that you care about their opinions enough that they might listen to you and change their ways.
This is coming across as a rant against elitism, and in a sense it is if you define elitism as the pretension to not listen to those who you deem inadequate because of a social/class divide, but I think that it is something deeper to the heart of my neurosis. I don’t think that I can ever accomplish what I hope to accomplish in life (which is good because then I won’t finish life too early), which is to change the world through my comedic arts. There was only one piece of comedic art that I think could change the world for the better truly and it was written by accident. My creative writing class had a douchenozzle in it who wrote a vivid description of how he broke up with a girl and how much a “bitch” she was. It’s stupidity was mind-boggling and I felt the need to pass it around the school for multiple reasons: (a) He was a misogynist ass who was at a school where he was given the resources to not be a misogynist ass (this is much different than the previous examples of people who are attempting to explore their ideas, no matter how rife with dumbassedness, but have been given a backwards tool set). Anyway, he’s a misogynist ass who didn’t deserve my school (side note: he transferred away – I like to take credit for that). (b) I don’t think privacy is important. In fact I find it actively destructive to our desire to understand each other. (c) I felt like everybody in the world needed to see this piece of writing. I thought it would change everyone’s life. What I thought it did was point out every piece of hypocritical gibberish that sexists and idiots spewed and took them to their extreme in a way that would force every reader to understand the thought process of stupidity – including their own when they started to think that way.
I will never accomplish this.
I think all the best things are done on accident because we are so obsessed with laughing at and not laughing with. I’m too self-aware to become successful.