Gender, Indignant, Media

Defending Ashley Madison

How am I supposed to feel about this?

I don’t really believe in monogamy so I already have confused feelings about adultery. Sure, lying is bad and I have never and would never cheat on a person because guilt already consumes me on a daily basis, I don’t need something else to fuel that emotion of mine. So, I’m excited about the prospect of breaking down the institution of marriage in any way possible. Especially in such a mainstream way.

This commercial in particular is creepy because of their Avatar spoof which is racist? Maybe not. Maybe it’s commenting on the fact that Avatar itself was racist (which it was). Maybe they are pointing out that our otherization of these “tribal” aliens was very based on our desire to otherize black people. That’s productive.

But I can’t support lying. I just disagree with it so vehemently that it’s hard for me to support infidelity.

That being said, the arguments for why these ads must be taken down are that these ads are ripping apart the institution of marriage. Great! The institution of marriage is fucked. We won’t let gays marry, and divorce rates are over 50%. Marriage is stupid anyway.

So, the CEO of this site agrees with me (aka: has a very healthy outlook on marriage, life, and love).

What I see as scary is the irrational hatred that we see from the audience members and some members of The View. Before they’ve listened to his point of view they have become emotionally entangled and are unwilling to listen to the very decent points he’s presenting. People need to listen. Tyra Banks has the same reaction on her show.

Scariest though is Tyra’s reaction when she condescends to saying that she “feels a heart inside of [him] that [he’s] trying to cover up right now.” He was in no way trying to cover up his heart – this statement came directly after he very honestly discussed the fact that he believes in counselling to save marriages. Tyra is creating her own dialogue which is dangerous because dialogue is a multiple person action. Dialogue cannot be internal because then you are not hearing the rest of the world and their views and then you get stuck in the racist, sexist, homophobic community we are in now.

I have often brought up that I don’t disagree with the concept of infanticide – that people should get a one year warranty on their babies. This has almost lost me a sexual relationship and made my mother say she wishes that I weren’t her son. This type of irrational emotional reaction is dangerous. Not because they are wrong – maybe life is more sacred than I think it is – but because if people don’t listen to new ideas we can’t evolve. And shouldn’t we always attempt to evolve.

I think I just created Ashley Madison’s new tagline: “Ashley Madison: Evolve into Infidelity.”


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