Competition doesn’t just frustrate and frighten me. Competition shuts me down. When I am in a situation where someone else wants me to compete, I actively try to be the worst.

Part of this is because I love defying norms so much that I will actively pursue the opposite action of what is expected me. Part of this is because competition is a terrible driving force. When one gets competitive, one desires the failure of others. Thats stupid. You’re stupid. This blog entry is stupid. I’m gonna take it down a different path.

There is a standup comedian performing in the back of the restaurant I’m sitting in who still thinks that all Black people say: “Say What?!”

He’s really bad and stupid and racist.

I’m not sure which pisses me off most. Obviously the racism is worst, but how influential is that racism? None. None influential. Nobody is looking to him for an understanding of how to live their life because nobody wants to be a 45 year old bald man screaming “Say What?!” in the back of smelly cafe. How influential is his stupid? A little. The fact that he’s stupid might make people frustrated because they want to teach him. His badness is really influential. His badness is awful. I have to listen to him. I have to hear how bad he is. He is affecting my environment.

I am so much better of a comedian than him.

I win.