Horny, Lazy, Lonely

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It’s probably a cliche, but all of my friends in Minnesota are in relationships and none of my friends in New York are.

I made a joke to two of them that watching the tv show “Chuck” was like vaguely masturbating without any intention of cumming. He thought that sounded awful. I think it sounds reasonable. I think you need to be single to understand the joy in that.

Cumming is about pretending you are with someone and you get to put something inside of them and release a part of you into them. I can’t even imagine that. I just want the sensation that I have become used to. Masturbation is just comfortable.

What I am saying is that I am in a boring, committed, Minnesota relationship with my right hand.


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