Indignant, My favorites, Nostalgia

Mi Shiledhode dRaweings

Look at all the funny words that Lady Gaga had on her set at the Target Center. “Death Cases” sounds like the plural of some sort of briefcase full of death. Then we get a series of words associated with pain. Then “Children.”

Agreed, Lady Gaga.

Children should definitely be associated with pain. Which I know because I work in Park Slope. They are all a bunch of explativenouns and they need to be put in a dumpster with purell and razor blades. Purell because they are always sick. They are disgustingly sick. They just snot all over everything that they eat. Can things go into their mouths without snotting all over them? I hate them.

Don’t worry, I hate myself more.

My childhood drawings:

You know that your teddy bear can’t walk, and torsos aren’t half the size of necks, right? God you suck at coloring, and nobody knows what an Adventhr is.

Wait, which airplane did you take: The one where everyone died, or the one made by retarded MC Escher? Good thing you wrote the airline on the airplane, otherwise people would be confused.

First off, just cus you can’t pronounce r’s doesn’t mean you can’t write them. Also, are you descended from giant-giraffe hybrids? And you are gonna stick with that way of drawing airplanes – as if they are made of cardboard in the 6th dimension. Some strange architecture, btw.

Yeah we went there, but then I guess we drank some Alice in Wonderland potion, took up the entire house and then set it on fire. Also, I don’t think more than one person could fit in there, And why is that person smiling?! If I were as big as a house, I would be scared.

Pigs? More like sparrow-ladybug mixes in blackface. Also, did you run out blue ink after “We saw” or does pigs just always need to be in brown. I’m not criticizing, just wondering the artistic merit of your choices.

That is (a) a gross game of uno (b) a bizarre way of spelling “play” and (c) a fuckload of yellow.

AND THEN WE LOST OUR ARMS!!!! And, you don’t need to draw eyes coming out of a head like springs just to show which direction that a person is looking.

The interesting architectural decisions continue, this time with a table that is also taller than my grandmother so that we bake by blindly moving ingredients around on a table that we can’t see.

That made a travel journal? That trip must have sucked.

When? Where? What were you “kuting and pasting?” And does that picture correlate at all to the words being said above it? Details, you need details.

I agree with abortion, only partially because I think a woman should have the right to choose. Partially for other reasons.


3 thoughts on “Mi Shiledhode dRaweings

  1. Your Swedish relatives are either sporting some giant phalli, or they’ve chosen to birth turtles while standing in the airport. Also, your whole post is uncomfortably close to a cartoon school crit.

    Now that I’ve seen your drawings, I feel like I need to find a recording of a humorous true story that I told at age seven.

    • David Hesselbom says:

      I’m laughing so hard at the the birth turtles remark right now I can hardly even breathe. If I look at that picture again I will be in perfect shape for the 300 costume I’m wearing this Saturday.

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