Thank all that is holy and sexy and fine! I have “fixed” my computer! In order to “fix” my laptop, I pushed a set of DVDs up against the cord that goes into the back of my computer at just the right angle and then perilously placed glass bottles full of water on top of the DVDs so that they were weighed down enough to stay stagnant. As I sit here, smelling the sweet stench of success (that might be the jizz covered clothes that lie just beneath my nose), and type ever so delicately as to not disrupt the balance of bottles, DVDs, and electrical cords that I have created, I sigh a big sigh of relief.

No longer will I have to cook nice meals. No longer will I have to find projects to work on in order to justify my use of a school computer. No longer will I have to call friends to occupy my time. I am ready to be as unproductive as ever. Ahhhhhhhh!

I did all this “fixing” last night and proceeded to catch up on Lost, Chuck, and Life on Mars. It was Life on Mars’ series finale and boy did it suck. It sucked like a hoover in a head giving competition. The main guy ended with the boring comfortable choice instead of the hippy chick named Windy. This leads me to my next list. Attributes I think are overrated:

1) Comfortable. To me comfortable just means too unmotivated to have fun. Comfortable means you are close to having fun, but you don’t want to put the effort in to get to fun. Now, I’m all for laziness whenever possible. But I do not choose laziness if that will lead me down a boring path. I choose laziness so that I can as little time as possible doing the things I find uninteresting. To me, comfortable is a synonym for boring.

2) Having Faith. This one is obvious, and something that isn’t necessarily overrated in the communities I’m a part of, but is definitely overrated in the world. Faith is defined as believing in something that you don’t have reason to believe. This is the same definition for gullible.

3) Tactful. Tactfulness is the art of not saying what you mean in order to not get in fights. These fights are usually discussions of what is offensive and why it is offensive. These discussions are not only useful, but a necessary step for a society to move forward. Tactfulness is just a way of being dishonest about your feelings so that you can stop society from progressing.

4) Competitive. Wanting others to lose. That’s what this word is defined as. That just seems selfish to me.

5) Confident. Believing in yourself so much that you are unwilling to listen to others point of view. This may not technically be the definition of confident, but it is the working definition of the word in our society. I don’t think anyone should be confident in their views, that just means that they won’t question them. And when we stop questioning our views, we stop being a society worth living in.

These are just a few of my least favorite things. So next time you see a comfortable, competitive, tactful, and confident person of faith just realize they are really just a boring, selfish, dishonest bad listener who is really gullible. Instead you should hang out with the lazy (fun), unproductive (creative), awkward (self-aware) dickwad (honest) who makes up words like overration (me). Actually, don’t hang out with him, he just got his computer working agian and he doesn’t have time for you.